In our previous, What Merry Turkish Widows Want, we recounted how Güzin Habla (Turkey's Dear Abby) always spoke out strongly against Adultery -- because she'd twice been victimized by adulterous husbands herself. What we didn't mention was that, for awhile, her two wayward husbands came to represent all men, in general, to her.

And she was notoriously rough with advice-seeking female-readers involved in affairs with married men...unsympathetically urging them to quit sinning or get what they deserved -- a dirty rotten scoundrel of a man! (In those days, there wasn't much difference, in Güzin Hanım's mind, between two-timing men and men in general.)

Güzin Hanım mellowed somewhat in her opinion of men in later years -- though she never remarried. As long as men 'behaved' according to her strict standards, then she behaved too -- no longer rising uninvited to her soapbox on the subject of Adultery, without being 'provoked'.

But the slightest mention of an extramarital affair by a female advice-seeker could still arouse Güzin's sternly worded disapproval -- not just of the advice-seeker and her married lover... but also of any other man within a country mile.

And that's been the follow-on style too of Güzin Hanım's daughter, Feyza Algan -- who assumed the role of Güzin Abla upon her mother's passing, and who continues to give advice to Turkey's lovelorn and downtrodden every weekday in Hürriyet Gazetesi's Kelebek entertainment section.

Feyza Hanım can go weeks without indulging in an anti-male broadside, until she meets up with a situation that she can really sink her teeth into...

Pestered by a Wily Widower...
"When my neighbor's wife died, he began to hit on me..."
Question submitted by a female reader signed, "Who's Guilty?"

Dear Güzin Abla,

I'm in a difficult situation and I'm hoping that you can show me the easy way out.

I'm a 39-year-old married woman with teenagers. My husband (who is quite a bit older than I am) had a stroke and doesn't work anymore. I work and do the best I can to look after our children.

For a long time my husband and I haven't had sexual relations (because of his stroke). And though I miss our physical life, I still love him.

Recently, an older woman (who was my neighbor) became ill and passed away, rather suddenly . This woman was like an older sister to me and I liked her very much. But after she died, my problems started.

Her husband (who is almost old enough to be my father) began hitting on me after his wife died. One day he stopped me on the street and very openly propositioned me, saying, "Mine is dead, yours may as well be, we both need each other. Why don't we get together?"

I was so shocked that I couldn't think straight enough to answer him.

Since then, I've been on pins and needles -- living here in the same apartment complex with him as I do. I see him frequently and, from the looks he gives me, it's easy to see what's on his mind.

He's not unattractive for his age but I'm scared to death that my husband would find out -- which would make him more ill than he is already. My husband and I (and our children) have lived here for years and I don't want to move elsewhere just because my widowed neighbor fancies me. Signed: "Who's Guilty?"

In Part 2: Turkey's Dear Abby Comes Out Swinging...